The possibility of your aging parent or loved one re-entering the dating world can cause a range of emotional stress. Is it safe? Is it appropriate? How soon is too soon after the loss of a spouse? The answers to these questions vary with each family’s unique situation, but there are some common factors to consider as you and your senior loved one broach this topic.
Here are four suggestions to keep in mind as you talk to your senior loved one about dating:
1. Embrace the Awkwardness (It's Normal!)
No matter how close you are to your senior parent, discussing the details of your loved one’s dating life will likely be a little awkward for the both of you. He or she may feel embarrassed or may not want to talk about it at all. That’s okay; do not force the issue unless you suspect an extreme circumstance such as physical, emotional or financial abuse. Simply continue to show interest and concern in a way that invites open conversation. And when a conversation does happen be open and receptive to understanding their position rather than approaching it with judgement or preconceived notions.
2. Have "The Talk" (Yes, That One)
A significant number of seniors are not only dating, but they are also sexually active, according to studies. The National Poll on Healthy Aging from the University of Michigan found that 40% of adults aged 65 to 80 are sexually active, and 54% say sex is important to their quality of life.
65% of people in this age group describe themselves as still being interested in sex. This information highlights the importance of discussing safe sex, privacy and STD awareness are real concerns. The lesson here? Though it may not be a comfortable topic, the risks of ignoring it are far worse. Stay the course.
3. Companionship is Vital for Well-being
As with individuals of any age, relationships are vital to a senior's overall well-being. Loneliness and isolation can increase with age, leading to potential health issues like high blood pressure, depression, and loss of appetite. Watch for signs of loneliness, which may increase as your loved one ages. Dating and engaging in other social activities can help to reverse this dangerous cycle, promoting better emotional and physical health.
4. Be the Supportive Presence
Whatever your senior loved one’s dating status and desires, try to be as encouraging and supportive as possible. From making new friends at the community center, to going on a blind date, your support will help your loved one feel confident and not alone.
In this digital age, online dating can be one fun and effective way to find a kindred spirit. Sites like SeniorMatch.com specialize not only in romantic connections, but in friendships as well. Consider helping your senior set up an online dating profile. It could be a fun way to spend time together and gives you the opportunity to stay in the loop on the dating situation!
While a busier social life for Mom or Dad may introduce new stress for you, these activities and relationships can do wonders for their overall health and emotional wellbeing. Remember, navigating the dating world as a senior can be both exciting and challenging, but with your understanding and support, your loved one can find joy and companionship in this new chapter of life.
If you could use some assistance managing the logistics of your senior loved one’s social calendar, consider contacting Home Instead® (Burnaby and South Vancouver). Our companionship services include help with transportation, hobbies and much more!
Contact the care experts at Home Instead – available 24/7
